I am jealous and feel pity to see my friends having a dad. I feel that I am not secure everyday. I miss my dad very much. I keep praying that even in my dreams he will hug me, talk to me but until now I cannot feel his presence in my dream. Maybe or just a coincidence that my boyfriend is older than me. I want to have a father image that feels me secure. But having no father is not the cause of being unhappy.
February 25 is the birthday of my late dad. Eight days after his birthday he died, the next month thats March 12 its the birthday of my mom.Very painful to us knowing that we grew up too dependent to him. I know God has a plan to us...... Just keep trusting on Him/......
maam..its me hiro_nakamura. my bestfriend wheng wrote something about his dad..kakainggit..
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, I always love
going with my Dad to the Park. It was
one of the best places in the city
where you can relax. The park is
facing the Davao Gulf. The fresh air
gives a very relaxing ambiance to the
people who viusits the park especially
from afternoon till the park closes at
10 PM. It was a once a month habit to
my dad. We used to eat in an "ihaw-
ihaw" restaurant inside the park
before sitting in our favorite bench
near the sea wall. The bench is under
a small tree where you can hear the
birds playing especially during
sunset.
A few years have passed, and the once
a month habit became a twice a week
routine. My dad told me that he wants
to go the park with me more often
because I get to be more mature to
talk to and he enjoys talking to me
about anything and everything while
seated in the same bench.
What was so funny was, he opens up our
every conversation with the
same "intro". He would say..."darating
ang araw anak, itong bonding natin at
mga kuwentuhan natin...lahat, alaala
na lang." For several years of going
with him to the park, I hear the same
words before we start a good
conversation. It even came to a point
that I would jokingly interrupt him
before he finishes the "intro"..."Oo
na! oo na! pag dating ng araw, alaala
na lang lahat ng 'to." then I'll tap
his shoulder and start out a good talk.
2 days ago(january 20), is exactly the
10th year since then last time we've
been to the park together. I can't
forget the date because it's my
sister's birthday.
Unfortunately, I cant go to the said
park bacause i'm working here in
Makati. Now I realize how significant
that "intro" was. I can still hear my
dad's voice playing in my mind over
and over again telling me that INTRO.
I know, he really meant those words he
said whenever we start a good talk.
And that I know that he knew this time
would come...that I would wish to get
a chance again, to talk to him while
sitting on that bench under the
tree...like waht we used to do. His
words were very encouraging,
especially when Im in my lowest
moments, that I thought almost
impossible for me to smile and feel
better. He always knew how to make me
smile, and he knows what words would
he use to hit me straight in the heart.
He died of cancer 6 years ago. Loosing
him was the most painfull for me that
I can't get over it until now. BUt it
was better that way, than to see him
suffer.
2 days ago was exactly 10 years since
the last time I heard his INTRO. 10
long years of longing to hear those
words from him again. I am willing to
give everything and anything just to
spend a few seconds and hear the INTRO
from him again. I swear I won't
interrupt him, and ill never get tired
of listening to him. How I wish i can
sit again on that bench, even just for
a second...even when IM alone. I know
he would sit beside me and make me
feel better now that I feel so down.
He was the best dad....
i never get tired of reading over and over again about that post he wrote..right after i read that post. i emaild him..telling him about my jealousy about his dad..and made another blogs that meant to hit me straight to my heart..here it is..
ReplyDeleteFrom: Wheng Date: Wednesday, 23 January, 2008 6:29 PM Subject: a Broader sight... Message: My Best friend allen who is in Davao just wrote me a message. He felt sorry for me, at the same time, jealous. His dad died of heart attack a year before my dad passed away. It was just so sad to think that unlike me, he never had a quality time to have a good conversation with his dad. The good thing was, he treated my dad as his 2nd dad...and my dad looked at him as one of his sons. He is my best friend for years and my dad was one of the witnesses of our friendship that will make history.hehehe! I'm just so proud that someone testifies in favor of my words that my dad was a good man, a good adviser, a friend, and a mentor. My best friend just regrets that he never had the chance to get close to his dad like I was to my dad...but I know his dad personally, atleast in person. He might not speak a lot, he was not the sweet type of a dad,. But I know he was always proud of my best friend who was always responsible and true. Love is not measured in moments of time, but in timeless moments that's shared to your loved one. For others, love gets stronger by regular bonding, but for those who has Broader sights about love, even just the simple stares, a straight look in the eyes, a tap on the shoulder, and a simple touch will be remembered forever.End
Thanks man. having a bestfriend like you is making life's more beautiful and meaningful. truly we stand against odds na jud. Im so thankful for having u as part of my life..God bless bro.
January 23, 2008
maam..you're not alone po..