DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND CHEAT ON YOU?

Will my boyfriend cheat on me?

“I have issues with my boyfriend’s history. He has had sex with nine other girls and hooked up with countless others… and while he has so far been faithful to me, I’m afraid that his past behavior will eventually take over. Is that legitimate? He says it hurts him when I say that, but I can’t help stop thinking about his tendencies and his flirtatious personality.”

I know what’s it like to be preoccupied with a fear about your partner’s fidelity. It’s awful. It makes you feel ill. I’m sorry that this stuff is on your mind at the moment.

Some thoughts which might appease your fears: Recognise that to a lot of people, nine sexual partners is but a drop in the ocean — hell, to some, it’s chaste. Remember that your boyfriend is with you for a reason. Consider the possibility that he was only behaving that way once upon a time because he was unhappy, or looking for something he couldn’t find — which maybe he feels he has with you.

But that stuff isn’t the real issue.

Here’s a little thing I’ve learned in my time on the planet: We get what we focus on. It doesn’t matter whether that thing is a subconscious or irrational fear (“What if I get attacked by a rabid dog?!”) or something we plug in on purpose (“I want a life like Carrie Bradshaw’s”). It’s just what happens. We move towards the thing we put the most energy into.

Have you ever noticed that the people who get cheated on the most are the ones who are constantly fearful of it happening? Or that really optimistic, positive people seem to always have amazing things happening to them? This is NOT coincidence!

You need to remove these fears from your mind. (The most effective way to do this is with EFT.) Otherwise, you will go crazy. Make the conscious decision to trust your boyfriend & to enjoy your time with him. If he cheats on you, he cheats on you. There is nothing you can do about it. You can either live your life in fear of what might happen, or let it go & get on with it! Nine lovers doth not a cheater make!

Trust your instincts. If you think he’s being shady or seeing girls behind your back, talk to him about it. But ultimately, if you don’t believe him or trust him, the best thing you can do is to get out of the relationship. Jealousy & insecurity is the number one relationship killer. Don’t let your worrying tendencies mess up something amazing!

I would also be inclined to say that your insecurity probably stems from a lack of self-esteem… Working on this issue is in your best interests!

Good luck, kitten!

Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala

ARE YOU READY FOR SEX?

Am I ready for sex?

Here are some signposts to help you make the smart move in deciding whether first time sex is for you.

Knowing when the time feels right is a personal decision, whether you're in a relationship or up for something more casual.

So how can you be sure that you're ready? Whether you're a virgin, a die-hard romantic or a porn star, the most important thing is to be safe and feel happy with your situation. Admittedly there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex and relationships, but there are ways that you can feel more confident about the choices you make.

You know what consent is all about

Sex is a choice. It is not a compulsory subject. Whoever you're with, it means any kind of sexual activity has to be a joint agreement - something you both consent to rather than something you are doing just because you feel you should.

You understand the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs)

Crucially, you've taken steps to protect yourself before sex becomes a reality. Get to grips with the different contraceptive methods available that guard against unplanned pregnancy. Just be aware that condoms are the only form of contraception that can stop pregnancy and sex infections.

"Nearly 40% of you have sought out advice about having sex for the first time, according to our Sexual Health Survey."

You're cool about carrying condoms.

Whatever your outlook or experience of sex, even if you're still a virgin, it's always wise to be prepared. Nobody will assume you're expecting sex. If anything, having a condom at the ready simply shows respect for yourself and whoever you might strike lucky with.

You can talk about sex

Not just with your mates, but the person you're thinking of sleeping with. The closer you are to each other, the easier it is to talk openly. Don't duck out of the conversation if sex is on the cards with someone new - if anything, it makes that chat more pressing.

You can talk about feelings

Sex isn't just a physical act. A level of emotional intimacy and trust is involved whether you're in a long-term relationship or not. So be clear about your feelings and expectations, and negotiate boundaries. It won't guarantee that the sex will be mind-blowing, but it will minimise the chances of feeling let down and used later on.

You're happy to seek help and advice

There's no need to pretend you know it all, and if you're considering sex for the first time it's only natural to have questions. If those questions can't be addressed with your partner, put sex on hold and find out together. It's better to wait until you're ready, than to rush in and simply hope for the best.

Being a virgin

People should only have first time sex whenever they feel ready and being a virgin is not a badge of shame.

What is a virgin?

If we described it as someone who has not experienced penetrative sexual intercourse we'd be technically correct, but ignoring a whole host of alternatives. Why? Because sex isn't simply about penetration, just as being a virgin shouldn't define you as a person. Quite simply, it can mean as much or as little to your life as you like.

Being a virgin doesn't mean you must be sexually naive or innocent: Nor does it make you a less enlightened person. Whatever your outlook, sexuality or experience, it's always worth finding out the facts about safer sex.

What it really means: Knowledge is power, and also brings peace of mind. From how to make things safer by using contraception to recognising the laws, you owe it to yourself to get up to speed even if you're not having sex right now. It also means that if sex is on the cards you'll be able to make a considered decision about whether it's right for you, and less likely to just go for it because you feel you have no other choice.

First time sex

Losing your virginity won't make you more sophisticated or mature: It's certainly an experience in life, but so is learning to drive. Getting behind the wheel for the first time might be a buzz. Even so, nobody is going to look at you differently when you walk away from the vehicle (unless of course, it's a smoking heap because you floored it irresponsibly).

What it really means: First time sex brings its own rewards - under the right circumstances and preferably with someone who shares your feelings. It doesn't have to be about penetration either; it can be as simple as being physically intimate with each other in ways that you both enjoy. If you're planning on turning it into a conquest to impress your friends, the chances are it won't leave you feeling good about yourself.

Peer pressure

Your sexual status isn't something to be embarrassed about: Getting a hard time about being a virgin isn't pleasant, and you have a right to be free from this kind of grief, but sleeping with someone just to get away from the spotlight won't make you feel any better.

What it really means: If someone makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable because you haven't slept with anyone, it says more about their immature attitude to sex and relationship than it does about you - and won't impress anybody. Aim to rise above it by denying them a response. They'll soon get bored and move on.

How do I know when the time is right?

This is something only you can answer. In every case, however, it helps if you share trust and respect with your sexual partner. It might be a one-night stand, or with someone you've dated for ages. The key is that you feel able to be open and honest with each other, and clear about your boundaries and expectations.

Ultimately, what matters is that you know how to wait until you are ready and make things safe when that time comes. Whatever the experience, whether you're left feeling loved up or less than impressed, it means at least you won't have any regrets.

DEPRESSED HITS ME

i cant stop being depressed and having to much anxiety to live, what should i do?

MY NEW WORLD

I missed my friends, officemates in our office in DepEd Division Office, it's been awhile that I haven't seen them, working with them were very memorable one...Though in the office it was pressured but it was different in the field of teaching. All I can say that teaching is a very noble one, it is my responsibility to mold children...But very frustrating one, why? because in our school, I don't know in other public schools, we don't have books, how can I teach them well without any books at all. Hahay, that's y I really had a hard time discussing to my students. I can compare, before and my present work now. In the office I was busy encoding, entertaining teachers, a liaison officers going to tagum. Sitting all the time facing the computer, sometimes I can browse to the net, sometimes I can talk to my friends. But now, I went to school around 6:30, my class starts at 7:20 ends till 11:15. It's really hard to become a teachers specially now a days that we are now in a competitive world, as I observed that my students are very far behind compare to others. But, as a teacher I really do my responsibilities to teach them base on the learning guide that we had, but unfortunately, we can't do our discussion very fast because of the scarcity of books. Hahay, how pity we are....Even in our school we don't have computers that's why I am very frustrated huhuhuhu. ..Anyway, please help pray that I can adjust this kind of job. Folks this are my Grade V B students.